REVIEW: Ghost Stories at the Theatre Royal
Just how scary can a theatre show be?
“Contains moments of extreme shock and tension. We strongly advise those of a nervous disposition to think very seriously before attending.”
Thus the Theatre Royal warns anyone toying with the ridiculous idea of going to see Ghost Stories.
So naturally there was hardly a seat to be had on opening night.
There we all were, defiantly shoulder to shoulder, fearless thrill-seekers bracing ourselves for life-affirming blasts of shock and tension. C’mon, bring it on!
And some, I noticed, were clutching pints. Ninety minutes with no interval and therefore no comfort break. Brave. Being, in actual fact, a bit of a wuss, I’d spurned all liquids since lunchtime.
That said, I’m not sure I’ve ever been really scared in a theatre… not since childhood trips to the panto when I quivered at the thought of being hauled on stage and asked inappropriate questions – “Are you married?” – for an audience’s raucous delight.
As an adult, I was once dragged into a circus ring by clowns. Unexpected and therefore gut-wrenchingly unpleasant. But that was in a Big Top so… different ball game.
Even The Woman In Black at the Tyne Theatre, years ago, had its key moment of tension defused when an elderly audience member returned from the loo with immaculately inopportune timing.
Ghost Stories, written by Jeremy Dyson and Andy Nyman, has done well out of its promise to scare the living daylights out of audiences and has cranked up the tension in the West End, overseas and now on this UK tour.
And what is a critic to do when handed a slip of paper signed “Sweet dreams, Andy & Jeremy” and containing the following plea?
“It has meant so much to us that critics the world over have kept the plot and secrets of our show when writing about it. We appreciate it makes life a little trickier for you by not divulging plot, but because of your help Ghost Stories remains a rare thing – a modern experience you have to see spoiler-free.”
No spoilers, then. But despite the contemporary setting of the ghost stories we’re told in Ghost Stories, there’s something old fashioned about the very concept of a show like this.
Freakshows, seances, Ouija boards and po-faced talks about the paranormal enthralled Victorian and Edwardian seekers after truth – and there are shades of the latter in the lecture delivered to us by Professor Goodman (Dan Tetsell, with full repertoire of academic tricks and tics) who for a self-confessed sceptic has a suspiciously keen interest in his spooky subject matter.
Theatre technology is deployed with the knobs on max, resulting in recalcitrant lights, loud bangs, disturbing rumbles and the odd banshee wail.
How scared can you really be when you’re expecting to be scared? It’s a moot point – but there were gasps and screams, mostly of the Hoppings roller-coaster variety, and some giggles too.
Some of these will have been from nervous anticipation but there are moments of black humour in a show which has its tongue never too far from its cheek.
What spilled out onto Grey Street at the end of the night was an audience not noticeably traumatised but characterised by excited chatter - everyone getting it out of their system because Andy & Jeremy had asked them sweetly not to say a word to anyone yet to be inducted into the Ghost Stories cult.
Comply, they might have said, or we’ll haunt you forever.
Ghost Stories runs until Saturday and is selling fast in defiance of all warnings. If you really must go, tickets from the Theatre Royal website.